What Are Friends?
There are many ways to define friendship, but I think that best definition is the fine line between convenient friendships and meaningful friendships. But what exactly is the difference between a convenient friend and a meaningful friend.
There are three distinct traits to a meaningful friendship which a convenient friendship does not possess. The first and biggest trait is that a meaningful friendship doesn’t feel like you’re on the outside look into the friendship. It is also doesn’t feel draining and like participation is a one-way street.
However, I think that the most shocking trait to a convenient friendship is that it’s sneaky… especially for someone like me—an Enneagram Three—who’s focused on efficiency and fame. You see, convenient friendships are just that… convenient. They don’t interrupt your daily schedule more than you intend them to. In fact, from the beginning, they incorporate into your schedule well—essentially, the people who you’re already around. For me, my convenient friendships consisted of those who I lived with in the dorm during college. And it wasn’t until I was trying to get RSVPs for my 25th birthday dinner that I realized that I had no meaningful friendships—most invites were responded with silence.
Now, does that mean my friendships were/are a waste of time? Not necessarily. I think that although most of my friendships are of the convenient nature, we had some meaningful moments through the years. But that’s exactly what they are… moments. And that’s all that they will ever be because convenient friendships cannot become meaningful friendships.
— Week One: TN&RP June/July 2025 Edition