Unearthing Demons

The Story Behind the Poem

Okay… so, I’m not going to literally unearth demons. But rather I’m going to dig through the past and through the process of writing my poem “Demons” (which you can read here).

When it comes to what inspired me to write “Demons,” I think it all started when I put pen to paper that August… August 2022. Only a few months after my suicide attempt, I was drawn into the darkness within me—its grip steady, its presence unyielding. There were voices calling out to me and I wanted to give them space to be heard. However, even though I was somewhat ready to voice what had driven me to the edge, shame crept in, making me question that desire. So, in the end, I struck a deal with my demons—most notably, the demon of shame itself.

The deal was simple: I could write about my demons—just enough to let them breathe, just enough to ease the weight. But I wouldn’t name them. I wouldn’t give them away. Because if I did, I wouldn’t just be facing my demons—I’d be facing the judgment that followed.

Now, in hindsight, that was not a good deal. But to a broken version of myself who was desperate for the slightest bit of healing and relief, it was the best option at the time.

Each time that I read my poem "Demons," it's like I'm walking through a cemetery at midnight surrounded by fog but there are a few tombstones that lure me in. As I wander further into the cemetery, certain names and engravings pull me closer, demanding to be read.