The True Meaning of Jealousy
When the common tongue ain't it
Jealousy—I used to think that it meant wanting something another person had. I mean, that’s what it meant from the common language. However, ever since I started doing work with emotions in 2022, I’ve come to learn (thanks to Brené Brown) that jealousy is not the thing that I thought it was.
Now, to me, jealousy is an interference of your relationship with someone. For instance, Sally and Lucy are best friends, but they’ve met someone new… Erin. Erin and Sally start to develop a close relationship, and Lucy begins to feel excluded from the circle and she fears that she will soon lose Sally as a best friend. Lucy’s fear that she will lose Sally as a best friend is jealousy—someone came into her relationship with Lucy and threatened [unknowingly] to take away Sally and Lucy’s relationship.
That’s how I define jealousy. Not something to be wanted, but a fear of losing your relationship with someone because they found someone else.
And that’s why I have no relation to jealousy. Because you can’t relate to something that you don’t have, which for me is solely my fault for not being able to relate to jealousy.
— Week Three: TN&RP June/July 2025 Edition